#JanGoals: Final Recap!

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Well, January has come and gone, and putting aside the obvious roller coaster ride that has been the news lately, I want this last post on #JanGoals to focus on where I started and how I did with achieving my goals. (Maybe I’ll write something else on keeping your anxiety in check while the world descends into chaos another day).

Goal #1 – “Somewhat Sober January”

I held pretty faithful to this and only had around 14 drinks this month. I say “around” because I wasn’t doing a true count, or counting times I sampled some of the beers Sean would have. The whole point of this month wasn’t to go stone cold sober, or give up alcohol altogether, but it was a good exercise in restraint. It was also helpful to do this while I transition off my medication, as I don’t want the depressants in alcohol further confusing my brain.

Goal #2 – Exercise 5x a Week

Given that I injured my knee, I was unable to stick to this. But I did get the gym a lot, and stayed very active. Even when my knee was sore, I tried to keep walking around, or doing a few laps in the pool we have in our apartment building. I am glad I didn’t push myself too hard and recovered properly.

So how about my stats? Well, let’s put it this way – according to the scale, measurements, and body fat scale – I didn’t change all that much. I lost an inch off my natural waist, and half of an inch off my hips. My body fat actually went up by a 1%. I originally was really mad and disappointed by this. This is where setting goals like this can be tough for someone who struggles with forgiving themselves. I had this idea in my head that I’d drop like 5lbs of fat, or some sort of “drastic” reduction to show that this month was a total success. But as Sean reminded me, weight loss doesn’t happen that fast. What I am trying to focus on is how good I feel. I feel great completing circuits (well, exhausted but great), I am still running at a good pace despite only getting for a run about once a week, and I feel myself getting stronger. My upper body has always been something I’ve wanted to improve on – and slowly but surely I am getting better and better at something as simple as push-ups. So I am trying hard to focus solely on that, and not just the information on the page. It doesn’t tell the whole story.

Goal #3 – Practice more “Mindfulness” 

I’m slowly still reading through my new book and learning new techniques. I’ve definitely needed it at night, as this is when I tend to find my mind racing the most. I find it helpful even just reading about the activities before bed. Overall, I am happy that I am putting more of an effort into healing myself and taking proper time each day to unwind and unplug.

Goal #4 – Stop Taking Anti-Depressants. 

This one was easy at first, but as time goes on I am noticing some of the side effects. I am have times when I have been quite sad and overwhelmed – but once I have a good cry it seems to subside. It also seems to be tied to when I’ve gone two days without a dose. So we’ll see what happens when I come off the drug completely. The nausea seems to have gone away. I have been having vertigo from time to time, but it comes and goes. I still think I am quite lucky overall, as I know many others have had awful experiences.

What I learned, and what’s next

I took away from big lessons this month.

  • Forgive yourself. When I hurt my knee, I was really hard on myself. But the world didn’t end, I didn’t gain 20lbs, or ruin my progress. I confronted my discomfort and came out the other side. Time to be nicer to myself.
  • Cry when you need to. I sometimes hold in my emotions too much and resist the urge to be too upset. But as I go through withdrawal I think I just need to let it out when I need to, and then try to find ways to move on.
  • Winter running is still the best. It just is.
  • I need more protein in my diet. Using my nutrition tracker again is once again showing me how low I am. I gladly welcome any and all suggestions – especially for breakfast (keep in mind, I can’t eat eggs)
  • Drinking an electrolyte beverage each morning is exactly what my body needed. One side effect of my antidepressants is they make me sweat – a lot. I talked to my doctor about it, and some related symptoms I was having, and he suggested adding electrolytes to my diet more frequently. So now I start each day with a serving of Biosteel and I’ve noticed a big difference. I have more energy through the day, and my mind feels sharper. If you’re s sweaty person like me, maybe talk to your doctor if this is right for you too! (I swear I am not being paid by Biosteel!)

Now, rest easy – I won’t be spamming your social media pages through February with #FebGoals. But I do plan to try and keep putting these goals to use all year. I’m going to continue to try new recipes, new exercises, and keep the hangovers to a minimum.

The biggest goal I have for February is to have fun on vacation with my BFF, and not to worry too much about what I look like in a bathing suit. I know I am pressuring myself to look “perfect”. So I have to keep asking myself “what does that mean? Is it realistic? What will happen if I don’t look “perfect”?”

So to anyone who set resolutions or is trying to set new habits – keep believing in yourself and forgive yourself if you stumble a little. Trying is succeeding. Focus on what makes you feel good, what makes you happy. For me – it’s running outside on a January morning and seeing the fat squirrels run around. Maybe for you it’s something else. But find it, challenge yourself, and surprise yourself. And let’s support each other!!!!

Cheers to February being even more badass than January.

 

#JanGoals: Week Two Recap

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This week, I feel I stuck to my goals with only one stumbling point. I had 3 glasses of wine on Saturday night! I know- The horror!!! Sean & I hosted some friends over for dinner, and they brought along some really nice red wine for us to have. My original plan for the night was to only have 2 glasses, but in the end I had 3. And I have really mixed emotions about it. On one hand – I didn’t get drunk, so I didn’t wake up with any sort of hangover. I spaced out all of the wine with lots of water & club soda. The impact on my diet will probably not be that bad. (I did have chocolate cake Saturday night, which is theoretically WAY worse for me! But come on, it’s chocolate!!) AND, I did go to a Raptors game on Tuesday night and ignored beer entirely! Usually when I go to a sporting event, I’ll have a beer since they go hand in hand so well. But on Tuesday, I decided to avoid beer and use my “booze allowance” for the week on Saturday night.

However – I feel like in a way I let myself down by having the third glass. I didn’t need it. And this is where I want to touch on the downside of setting goals – the anger you can put on yourself when you don’t live up to your own expectations of yourself. I am trying not to be upset with myself. It could have been different – if I hadn’t told myself to keep it at 2 drinks, maybe I would have had 4 or 5! I’d be spending Sunday with a pounding headache! What I need to tell myself to focus on, is that overall, I’ve stuck to my goals and stayed “somewhat sober”. The point of reducing my alcohol intake isn’t to deprive myself; it’s to re-teach myself moderation after the overindulgence of Christmas. So I just need to relax, forgive myself and remember that a new week is about to begin with new goals.

Staying Motivated

To keep up my enthusiasm for exercising, I decided to ramp up my workout “journalling” and instead of just keeping a day to day log, I’d start a full workout binder. I went to the dollar store and bought some basic supplies: a binder (obviously..), and some dividers. Next I Googled like a maniac until I found some free templates to use to log my workouts. (My favourite being this one). For now I plan to keep the binder simple – weekly logs, goals, and a yearly calendar template to mark off days when I’ve worked out. The goal being it will allow me to keep track like I did last year. From there, I may add in workouts I’ve found online, measurement info, weight loss stats, etc. I don’t plan to keep a written food journal – I can use the MyFitnessPal app for that (since it does all the calorie counting/nutrient info for me).

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Fitness Binder!!

I am also happy to report I stuck to 5 workouts again this week! I also went to my first spin class in months and performed a lot better than I thought I would! I guess when I catch myself feeling disappointed about the alcohol, I also need to remind myself I was a badass this week at the gym and focus on the positive.

Little Things

I’ve been feeling really inspired for Bell Let’s Talk Day – and it all started because I booked an appointment with my family doctor. I wanted to ask some nagging questions I’ve had about some symptoms. Everything, of course, turned out to be fine, explainable and solvable, but it got me thinking about how my health anxiety has impacted my ability to trust my body and the signals it sends me. So stayed tuned for  more on that on January 25th!

Also, I have a confession to make. I think I have become a full blown Starbucks addict. They have introduced almond milk to their menu and I am in love. And I kind of hate myself for this because it’s an extra 70 cents to get it, and their drinks are already SO EXPENSIVE. But OHMYGOD it is so delicious. So that made me really happy this week…. my bank account less happy.

Withdrawing from Pristiq has still been going well. I feel ready to take the next step and start taking it every third day, and see what happens. I feel that perhaps this is when I will start to see more withdrawal symptoms, so I am a little nervous.

The biggest “ah-ha” moment that I have had so far this month is realizing that no matter what happens this month – if I have a couple drinks, eat cake, miss a workout, or have a panic attack, I am still starting ahead of where I was a year ago, and that’s important. It would take a lot of sabotaging myself to end up where I was in January 2016, and that feels good to know. And when I feel down about things, I feel this is what I am going to focus on. The steps may be small, but it’s forward progress nonetheless!

Thanks for following along! How is your month going so far?

If you missed my earlier posts in the #JanGoals series, go here & here!

#JanGoals: Week One Recap

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Sweaty Selfie!

To start off my #JanGoals, one fun thing I did this week was sit down and calculate my “stats” from 2016. Last year, I used a pocket calendar to mark off and track which days I exercised, and wrote down what type of workout I did. It was part of my attempt to get to 3 – 4 workouts a week. In the end, I worked out a total of 197 times last year, roughly; 54% of the year! My best month was July 2016, where I worked out 20 times. My least productive month was December, where I only worked out 12 times. I found this tracking habit really helpful during the year, so I plan to pick up another calendar to use for 2017. It’s a great visual planner to help me look ahead at the week and plan out when to workout and when I can relax and kick back.

Also, it would be nice to improve upon this number in 2017 and go above 200 workouts!

One thing I am a firm believer in when it comes to weight loss is avoiding the scale. It is incredibly misleading. First of all, your weight fluctuates an incredible amount throughout the day – and ladies, it can REALLY fluctuate depending where you are in your cycle. Also, this past year really affirmed how little it actually tells you. With just the scale you have no idea what % fat you are, and what % muscle you are. My weight has remained nearly the same as 2016’s starting weight, but yet I’ve lost about 8% of my body fat. (How do I know my fat %? There’s a fancy scale at the gym I go to that tells you your body fat %, water weight, etc).

So what do I measure my “success” by? Measurements! Once a month I take my measurements. I do it first thing in the morning before I have anything to eat. To me, this is the best way to track your results. It seems fitting to start tracking these January goals by looking back at what I did in 2016. So, for all the world to see, here are my measurements from January 2016 compared to how I am starting in 2017.

January 2016 

  • Weight: 146 lbs
  • Chest: 35.5″
  • Waist (Natural): 31″
  • Waist (Belly Button): 34″
  • Hips: 41
  • Body Fat: **
  • BMI: 25.1 (considered “overweight”)

January 2017: 

  • Weight: 139.5 lbs
  • Chest: 34.5″
  • Waist (Natural): 28″
  • Waist (Belly Button): 33″
  • Hips: 39.5″
  • Body Fat: 33%
  • BMI: 23.9 (considered “normal” but just barely)

** I don’t have my body fat statistic from January 2016 when I first signed up at Goodlife, but I do know that in late November I was at 31% body fat, which was down 4% from when we took that information in September.

I love comparative stats like this, which is funny because I hate math and numbers. But I love progress that can be measured, literally! Which again, is why I hate the scale. I’m including my weight because my hope is that by the end of the month I can prove my point that it’s crap, and that measurements are going to boost your ego way more.

Oh – and another stat I am not a huge fan of – BMI. It just takes into account your weight and height. But it doesn’t take into account how much of your weight is fat vs. muscle – just like a scale. So I take that information with a grain of salt as well.

So how did Week One go?

I signed up for a Spring 10km race! I signed up for the Goodlife Marathon 10km race on May 7th. I used to run the Yonge St 10km, but Canada Running Series have moved that race to June, and it now is too close to the Ride to Conquer Cancer. I’ve debated doing the Spring Run off 8km in April, and may still sign up for that! So I am feeling motivated! (But also very terrified… it’s been two years since running that distance in full, and the perfectionist in me is going to want to be a sub-60 minute time, set a PB and all that jazz…)

I also ordered a new book to help with my anxiety – The Little Pocket Book of Mindfullness which was recommended to me by my therapist before Christmas. I am excited to check it out and try out the exercises! I have also tried to be more diligent with my daily journal, and taking time throughout the day to appreciate small moments.

I started the withdrawal from Pristiq and taking my doctor’s advice to take a pill every other day. I’ve read mixed views online about whether this is the correct way to ween off this drug, but I am going to trust my doctor. So far the symptoms have been minor. I get weird dizzy sensations, but so far nothing major. My mood doesn’t seem to have changed drastically. But we’ll see. It is early in the process.

BUT WHAT ABOUT DA BOOZE?

Total drinks consumed: 1.5

Sean made homemade pizza on Saturday night, and so we split a large bottle of some Trinity Bellwoods beer that we had purchased prior to New Year’s Eve. It was hard to turn down a fancy beer, especially when I knew we wouldn’t be dining out this past weekend. The “.5” portion of the number is from the small portion of coffee & Bailey’s I had at a friend’s brunch, before I decided I didn’t care for Bailey’s in Tim Horton’s coffee…

But this 1.5 is a lot less than what I would have “normally” consumed. I was out and about this week, and between some mid-week plans, and relaxing at home I could have easily had 5 – 6 drinks this week. So even though I still had 1, I’m really happy that I resisted alcohol elsewhere.

I will admit, I officially started going “somewhat sober” on January 2nd – so this doesn’t count what I consumed on January 1st!

I also feel the need to admit I have still been eating crap food in the form of leftover dip, chips, cupcakes, and cookies from the holidays! It hasn’t all been salads and oatmeal.

Now let’s hope Week Two turns out as well as Week One!